Partytime: Excellent.

No time for talk now guys, it's that time of the year. A time to let it all out before you can start fresh once again. So... Is it possible that there may be a party tonight with thousands of beers? (2009 beers to be exact, equal to roughly twelve kegs, possibly) Is it possible that this will make an attempt to soar over this via a plywood launch at midnight? Will this hypothetical party be at 71N. Winterpark Dr.? Be there, maybe.

The best mistakes of 2008.

With a new year just around the bend, and a full year of horseplay behind us, let's take a minute and scope out some of classics of 2008. There were some real gems. From exploding trucks to exploding titties, from mugshots to crotchshots, and let's not forget the photo the started it all, the spraypainted crackbaby. So here's to 2008, sure was a goodn'. Thanks go to those of you who've been supporting since the beginning, as well as those of you who've just arrived, Happy new year everybody, let's all sucktrain.

Happy happy, joy joy.

Sorry about the slack guys and gals... We'll pick it back up tomorrow, the 25th, with a recap of the year's best photos. If you haven't voted below yet, please do so. We need justice! You can only vote once though so study those ass wrinkles closely. See ya on the flip. Happy holidays?

The truth hurts.

.

Monday's post sure did open up a can of worms. There were quite a few speculations in the comment section. Who knew that a simple A/P combo could have such discussion-stimulating power? So who is it? Is it "that girl Debbie"? Is it "that Austin floozie from Deltona"? What about "that Brittany chick"? Perhaps even some new species... You decide who reputation will be heavily tainted.

Breakfast of champions.

Well it's definitely not Friday, but hey, why do today what you can put off till tomorrow? Now remember kids, Procrastination: how champions are born. Anyways, let's see those pictures this week pussois! but please no more Sid viscious face pics-it doesn't work while you're holding a bud light and a newport... Tarantula:Any of several large, hairy spiders of the family Theraphosidae; Tarantula-looking pussy: Pictured above. Sorry random, but that's what you get when you try to pee on our friends. Booya!

18 year old with dentures?

Word on the street is that Fingerblaster got new chompers. No longer are you forced to suffer the sight of these badboys. His teeth may be fixed but his unfortunate looking bart simpson penis is here to stay... Thanks to Erica Stanley for pic of the week, one of only two entries not involving male genitalia in any way. Wow. Slutskies and ass/pussy combos on Friday. See ya there.

Sunny dismay: Uncle Chet debases youths.

Check out the fruits of uncle Chet's lastest hustle, Six-hundred and forty-eight Sunny Deeelights... just for the kids. Keep those post-teen hands off 'em though, for Hibachi's on guard, and he'll fud you up... Damn we need some new material. Anyways, stop by on Monday for reader pics and weekend debauchery. Just a reminder, don't smoke none of that horny powder that's been floating around. Oh, and the tooth fairy's not real...take it.

Needed: clean-up crew.

Well holy shit, look who's back for more. For the most part, semiweekly posting will be back on track. However, everything is far from 'in working order' so please ignore any possible format errors as you absorb the next few weeks' foolishness. Where to start, where to start... Last post marked the beginning proposal of the Hfk! reader photo of the week... Not much to my surpise, the inbox was showered with pictures of naked men and links to undisirable pornographical images (something this very site may or may not be guilty of), but come on people, you've got potential, let's try harder this week. Keep em' coming. Back to what's new, party pooping is the new black, nodding off early is not... Though, it may be the new pink. Speaking of all this 'new': New years 2009 is within spitting distance, and without letting the cat out of the bag, for now, let it just be known that this one will be very, very notable. That's what's up folks, now eat your veggies and fuck your mother. Until friday...

Drunk + laptop = broken laptop.
Were working on getting things working again, give it a couple days.
Lots of photo's are building up in the meantime though, so be on the lookout..

No time for relaxation: Urban jet skiing!!!

Good day ladies, gentlemen. Get that hand out of your slacks and put your Friday face on; there's oh so many escapades to be immersed in. Like what? Well for starters there's a show tomorrow @ 71N... Can't make it? Well why not try something at home... Do some laundry, play with some puppies, spray paint your dad's house... Hell, who am I to tell you what to do? Get creative, do something innovative and send in a picture to Hereforkicks@gmail.com , the best pic of the weekend will be included in Monday's post! Now get to work! Urban jet skiing... beat that.

An introduction to Goating 101.

All too often it is, in some social groups, that a humdrum routine is allowed to stick around without adjustment. Being aware of this torturesome monotony, our conclusion to breaking the same-old same-old bit was to capture, worldwide, all the slutskies with breasts larger than 34D and enslave them in our basement as boner relievers... Well after we realized that was quite improbable (because we don't have a basement duh) we tried something different. Check out the scoop here. Expect big things from Hibachi...

It's all fun and games..

Ahhh kitchen dodgeball.. just like at mom's place, except she always encouraged helmet safety, which may have come in handy when Bruce caught the 101 Dalmations VHS in the dome piece. Nothing a little superglue touch-up can't mend. Want to know what this is all about? Stop by on Monday to see the new squad companion. Until next round...

BACO weekend 2008

BACO has been around since long before the words "canceled orgy" had meant anything to you and I. After this halloween and the 2008 jam, BACO has reproved itself as the best of the best. The jam blasted off this weekend, and Mesh skatepark was anything but a tight ship. But BACO spirit extended well past the confines of the park and left the surrounding communities an unholy mess. If you were around, chances are that you saw things you'd previously thought impossible, and never want to see again. If you weren't, this scanty, PG-13 web post will have to suffice. Oh yeah people rode too. Trey Jones won, hell yeah, check the shred and don't miss out next time around!

BACO is currently taking place.
so what am I doing writing a new post?
I'm not.
catch you later on!

What the... they still update this thing?

Whoa there!!! Check the new Hereforkicks! threads; the Dickhead and the Bottlecap designs, pretty nifty. What's that you say, You like em? They'll be available right here by the end of the night, get em while they're steamy and shred in style! Welp, here comes halloween. What's this mean to you and I? Slutskies and candy shred of course, oh yes, and how could you forget BACO this Friday through Sunday, it's not to be missed, believe it.. House show at 71N. on Thursday. Stay tuned this week for embarrassments and upskirts galore!

Sixty nine plus the square root of zero.

Howdy howdy, good day to you all. Hope the past weekend was pleasant and gratifying. Chad Degroot sent over an Email at 10:23 this morning consisting only of this? Thank you Chad. Just a reminder that BACO will be held in just ten days from this very Monday, so pack your bags and saddle up. Moreover, there will be a very small run of halloween color-way HFK! bottle cap shirts (you'll see 'em on Friday) available only at the jam, and that's what's up. Keep on Keepin.

Floppy titties and empty promises...

As many of you had probably assumed from past empty promises, the dickhead tees aren't up yet.. It's been a long week, some complications arose during the shoot and our middle aged plus size model Patricia thought it was better without the shirt. Hmmm. Next week, uhh, I promise! By this time you're probably wondering what Johnny D and a naked woman are doing on the same post. The world may never know, but check this new Johnny/Rickey video if you didn't catch it yet! Sickness! Saturday night kegs tomorrow at 71N.  Peace and beast.

Looks like somebody's got a case of the fundays.

There's nothing wrong with Mondays; they're for keeping you in check, a day to clean up all your sex toys and cat vomit. You've gotta have at least one day a week that blows more pubes than the others. Speaking of blowing pubies, Mesh's BACO jam is up your ass and just around the corner! This will be one for the books people, so give your two weeks to the bossman and scamper on down for some beers and underage babes. Hmm... Long awaited dickhead shirts will be online at the end of the week so keep your pussies peeled and jump on em while they last! Oh yeah check out Mark's interview in the new ride! Until next time..

James got a handjob from a stripper last night.

pee aye are tee why?

Sluggards and loafers alike, yet another glorious weekend lays before us.. What to do, what to do... Well next weekend, dude tour is coming into town. Who will give their all for a piece of glory? Who will rise above and emerge the victor? Who cares? Anyways, all sore losers can drink away their sorrow here -fo free.. Back to this weekend: this boy and this boy are having a birthday celebration on saturday night here, wow the internet is a dangerous thing.. said party is sure to include plenty of conversation, refreshments, and entertainment for guests. Wow neato!  Also, those of you west coasters, don't feel left out, you get free burritos.  Almost as good.   Look for plenty of obscene and detestable pictures up sooner than you can say yippie kay aye.

Zebra turd for president.

Over the past months, it has come to attention what an arduous and demanding job it is to keep people of your sorts thoroughly entertained. With a growing number of E-mails and requests to update more frequently, I'd like to take this time to answer them jointly: absolutely dick no.   In compromise, we can put some structure to this here beast to take some guesswork out of your painstaking daily internet-checking habits. Hereforkicks! will now be updated biweekly, once on fridays and once during the early workweek, unless otherwise bulletinized Here. Happy? Suck it. Now then, even if the last five sentences went straight through your brain and into oblivion while you were staring at those boobies up there, listen up now. This guy's a hero and living legend; he's hurting real bad right now. I know you've heard all this before and you're 'broke', but slide the cock out of your ass and help out if you can.  Okay, if you've made it this far, I commend you, know that if you've ordered a tee-shirt that you did not get bamboozled, they are on their way this week along with my dignity for eating eighty dollars of shipping...

If you're gonna spew, spew into this...

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. What on God's green earth are we going to do with all this excess firewood? 71N. tonight... If you can't make it, good luck on your adventures and keep on 69ing your best this weekend.  Maybe, if you're lucky ducky, one day you'll 69 yourself all the way to he top of the ladder.  

Barking spider bites and dogheads too.

Finally some slutskies to silence the ever present cry of the exceedingly sexually insecure nohomous erectus... I'm not quite sure what the index finger action is about but yippie kayaye.  Well then.  Mark's back from Interbike. Here he is sharing just the tip of one of his many, apparently arousing philosophies. He's been dog-heading like a champion, heed this warning your town could be next.  Oh yeah, also, beware of those damn Peruvian barking spiders, they're everywhere, just last night we captured this video of a fine specimen: Careful.. it's a jungle out there.  

Let it ride...

It's Friday evening ladies and gents... This is terrific news because it could only mean that next, in the logical progression of things, comes friday night! Alrighty then, that's out of the way. In other interests; while the legendary trail season in Pittsburgh, and the rest of the north will soon succumb to the cold weather, it has officially just begun at Casselberry. The jumps aren't exactly running yet, but the yard sure is. The house, you know, 71N... this place, isn't looking too shabby either. It's on it's way to high gear, why just yesterday, the big-screen fixed itself and it looks way good. Welp. Don't drink too much tonight. Have a goodie.

Mark circa '99?

Eat it up. Has he grown up?.. Or just gotten a little fuzzier? I reckon the latter. Mark's at Interbike so expect stories and inappropriate photos in a couple days!

Neighborhood antics and Cheddar DeGroot.

You know you're in good shape when your neighbor shows up thusly... then proceeds with combinations like xanax and tattoos. Anyway, on a related note, here's a pretty 69 video of Chad. From over on Profile.

Roadie trip!!!

I think Joey said it best when he explained, to his little sister, time on the road; "Pretend you're an alcoholic, then pretend you get in a van with 7 other alcoholics, and a sober driver. What do you think happened?" Well, when not getting lost, silly-stringing, or experimenting with peehole farts.. Quite a bit of time was spent running out of gas, fucking off, and hanging out with locals. Not to mention, just plain looking good. Riding was a bit of a scarcity but to no one's surprise, there was an overabundance of this, and this. Thanks to Chad and James for pics and Mesh for putting it's reputation on the edge of the shitter for fun.. Oh yeah Suck it.