Erik payne: A father, a hero.

Erik Payne isn't your average middle aged man but rather the embodiment of the word party, or maybe the words hideous train-wreck. Being the guitarist for Andrew WK, he has shown us that our mom was right when she said rock stars don't all live glamorous lives. Either way, Erik Payne is having more fun than any of us will at his age, or at our current age for that matter. And with such quotes as: "This is the smallest penis I've ever had" and "Fuck Andrew WK, I party way harder than that pussy", how could you hate him? So let's all take a quick reminder from Erik and have fun everyday, even if we don't remember it...

It's messy, but it feels better: July's period

We're going to take a little tangent from the scheduled post to bring you this month's Period. This one's short and sweet and guaranteed to make your mom block this site. Don't forget to come back at the beginning of the week, where the saga will continue... and while you're not forgetting, also don't forget to add us on twitter by clicking the link on the top right of the screen. k thnxbye!

Does anyone have tampons? Period tomorrow.

Kitchen counters: able storage or waste of square-footage?

What's that thing jutting out from the wall? No thanks. With the nation's economy in such a rut, we need to start conserving and creating space at every opportunity. Just don't try this at mom's place.

You remember that band Andrew W.K.? You know, this one? Well the lead guitarist of that band, who can be seen at 2:25 in this video (and various other times in the video smacking himself in the face with a pillow) has recently discovered our house, and likes to hang out there, a lot. Stay tuned to see what kind of things Erik Payne likes to do...

Tetanus? Gangrene? Amoebas? Muck party.

Pizza roll challenge, or puke party surprise?

Challenges are always fun and usually involve abusing the limits of one's body to the point of pain, entertainment, in other words. So it was a perfect opportunity to take a challenge up in response to this youtube video. Forty pizza rolls per participant all within four minutes, but the tricky part didn't come until the end, when a shotgun-ready beer was waiting for you at the finish line. Some held it down, but for the most part it turned into a projectile pizza puke contest. Thank you Jesseherdfatfuck, for the creative inspiration, you silly devil you.
If you haven't checked again, the end of "Independence night Part 2" has been updated with some marvelous mugshots worth checking out. While your at it, there's some heated debate in the comment section (recently relabeled "The Viper Pit") of last post that's worth while too...Go BoNgRiPpEr420!

Independence day night: part 1

Independence day, an excuse to start fires, suck titties, and blow shit up just like our forefathers of the revolution, except we don't die. They'd be so proud if they could just see what has become of their holiday: dirty animal group sex, firework head-shots, and all around respect for the past and what it means to our future. Get your history straight kids, Will Smith didn't kill all those aliens for us just to be forgotten.

Indepencence day night: part 2, the defeat

You still with us? Well apparently that whole freedom thing only has significance on certain days of the week, and dirty animal sex is frowned upon by most of the legal system. So, starting with a simple noise complaint from the little old lady down the road, the July 4th casselberry massacre began. One fish, two fish, uncle Sam was ready to fuck whoever stood in the way, with the long dick of the law. He did just that, and lord almighty, what a fuck it was.
mug update: a couple of the mugs from 4th can be seen here, here, here, and here...wow. and the cops never found the crack.